hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
