It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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