So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
why is half of my head shaved?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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