She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
