So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
