Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
