I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
