So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
even my farts smell like vagina
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
