WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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