I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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