in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
