So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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