all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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