apparently the secret to your success is patron
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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