Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
