He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
even my farts smell like vagina
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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