You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
