you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
