clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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