I wish I could teleport
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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