Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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