We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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