i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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