ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
