It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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