I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
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