somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
