is your mom at the bar?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
