What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
