Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
