I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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