He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize