pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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