So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Who died my cat blue again?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
