their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
