If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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