Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
