My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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