I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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