Are we in a gay sports bar?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
