he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
