We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
