We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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