He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
