So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
