He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
