I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
