Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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