every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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