do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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