Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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