Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
