So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
