Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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