So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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