You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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